Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment of the day when my older sister and I are wearing the same sweater (just different colors) and you can tell that my boobs are a lot bigger then hers.... Haha

A haunting past.

Even though I try to put my past behind me, because that's always what people tell you to do, some things just come up. Like trust. I've had a lot of problems with trusting and people in the past. I've had a lot of people taking advantage of my trust, and then me getting hurt in the end. Also I've had important people in my life "replace me" so to say. So I have a giant fear of being replaced. So I have a hard time trusting people and a fear of being replaced. Great. Combine that with the extra crazy emotions of being on my period. Also mix in a past experience where a guy I was texting, texted me something that didn't really make sense to what I had said; and it turned out he meant to text it to another girl he had a thing with. Mix that all together and then I get a text from Josh that doesn't make sense with what I had said. Even though I trust him soooo much and I know how much he cares about me, and he would never want to hurt me in anyway. I can't help but freak out a little, with my haunting past full of pain and broken hearts looming right behind me. And it's not that I don't trust him, I don't trust myself. I don't trust myself to be better than my past.

Honesty.

I feel like in today's society honesty is one of those values very much under minded; least with my generation. It seems like almost everyone lies. I mean I try, I mean really try to be honest. It's something that's really important to me, but I still find myself telling a little white lie every now and then to get out of trouble or something. There's so much drama going on in my friend group right now and it could have all been avoided if people had just told the truth. In fact a lot of drama I'd have to say it started because someone lied. Why couldn't people just tell the truth? Doesn't it  seem like that would just make our lifes easier? Sure we may get in trouble sometimes but if you are having to lie then you probably did something wrong, so you probably deserve to get in trouble. I know I need to work on this myself. So starting today till Christmas I'm going to not tell a single lie. I can do. You guys should try it out and see how it goes. I mean over all wouldn't you like to be  known as an honest person? I know I would.

He's Quiet Perfect.

God gave me you.

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you

On my own I'm only
Half of what I could be
I can't do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

Josh has changed my life in so many ways, and he helps me so much. I know there is a reason why he is in my life right now. I know right now I need him. I just pray one day I can return the favor, and be there for him when he really needs someone.

Life is good.

Live for the moments when life just feels so good, and so right. Those are the moments that you can rely on when things aren't going so well.

Sisters.

It's incredible that one can form a bond with someone that's so tight, they become like family to you. I think that's a really good thing to be able to do. So if your family can't be there for you, you'll have someone that will. Friends can be like an extension of your family. I've had lots of friends that were like my sisters. They are great relationships. I have to say the person that is most like a sister to me though is my lovely Elizabeth. We formed our relationship over the summer. We became so close. We shared joys and tears, happy moments and sad ones. Now that that bond has form it will take a lot to break it. We might not see each other that much now that school has started, but we both know if we ever need each other, that we will be there for each other. She's my sister. I love her.

Happy yet sad.

So I was hanging up christmas ornaments with my family, when I ran across one that said: "World's Best Cat". I realized then that this is my first christmas without Sabrina. I also then realized this is my first christmas with Josh. So least I have something to balance out what's missing.

But.

A lot of guys well I shouldn't just say guys. A lot of people I feel especially teenagers have the mindset I love you, but (Insert undesirable trait here). Shouldn't you realize if you love someone that everyone has imperfections, that no one is perfect. Shouldn't be it be: (Insert undesirable trait here), but I love you.

Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment when Josh and I are sitting in the car, and he goes to put his arm around me, but instead ends up smacking me in the forehead with his elbow. So smooth I know.

He came over to the dark side!

Josh got a blog!
http://apersonalrambling.blogspot.com/

You're not an almost lover.

I was listening to the song almost lover, and there is a line that says:
I never wanna see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me.
It made me think of the guys of my past.
Zac: We never dated but we were in love. In the middle of it he told me a girl had gotten him to say things he shouldn't have. After that he told me he didn't love me as much anymore. We fought about him giving me more time. I was something that came last or close to it a lot in his life.
Jake: Told me he loved me. We had a thing. He had a thing with at least 5 other girls at the same time.
Bennett: He told me he liked me. We hooked up twice. He almost never talked to me.
Isaac: We actually dated. He was manipulative and would at times make me feel bad about myself, and was pushy. He constantly tried to get me to go farther than I wanted to.
Looking back on all that isn't really painful anymore because of what I have now. These more or less highlight the bad parts of my "dealings" with each guy, but even when these guys treated me the best they ever did, it doesn't hold a candle to how Josh treats me. I'm not just saying all this because of my feelings for Josh. Even my parents, and sisters notice. He would never want to see me unhappy. Let alone cause me unhappiness. It's nice to not have an almost lover for once. Thank you.

First time actually ROTFL.

So I'm sitting there on the floor doing something on my laptop when I get a call from Josh. I'm really confused because we were just about to skype so I don't know why he's calling. He says "Can I ask you a question?" and I'm like "sure...." and then I swear there was a pause and I'm like thinking he is going to ask me something really serious. He says "how much detergent do you put in the washing machine...?" I almost died. I literally fell over and started ROTFL. Literally.

The meaning of true love.

"My heart pounds so hard that, despite the roaring of the crowd, I am aware of blood whoosing through my ears. I am filled to overflowing bursting love"

"I stare at her for a long moment. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life"

"and one detail I can neither fathom nor shake, the one that haunts me into sleep: the feel of her fingertips tracing the outline of my face."

True love can be described as a lot of things to a lot of different people. But to me true love is this. These quotes are from Water for Elephants. For people who haven't read it, the main character falls in love with a girl who is with someone else, but doesn't give up because he knows he has found something special. He doesn't push, he lets her figure it out on her own. That is my definition of true love. Loving or caring about someone so much that you are willing to wait and watch them be with someone else because you know you have found something special and so you aren't going to let go, but you don't push. You let them figure out what they want on their own time. It's the most romantic gesture I think there is. It shows he knows what he wants, and that's you. And he's willing to wait. That's my definition of true love.

To My Dear Principessa.

So I know it was forever ago that I post this one, but I know I made a post that explained everything going on with my deary kitty Sabrina (her nickname was principessa). Well sadly enough she passed away. I miss her dearly, and even though it's been a while I wanted to write something in her memory. She meant the world to me. I had her since I was five, so I have very few memories were I don't have her. I wish I could still say that. She was my best friend. A lot of people think that cats are stuck up and not loyal and loving but she was. She would come up and sleep on my bed every night right beside me. She would sit next to me while I did my homework. When I was sick she would stay by my side. She was a very calm kitty, not mean at all. Since I had her since I was five, we grew up together. We went through everything together. She was always there for me, even though I know she hated it when I cried because I always got her fur all wet. She was the best kitty anyone could ever ask for. I only wish I could have been there with her, her last week. She took care of me so much I wish that I could have taken care of her in her final days. I miss her so much. So here's to most loyal and loving kitty. Sabrina, my principessa.

Stay Stay Stay.

So I love Taylor Swift's new song Stay Stay Stay and so I was like hey Josh you should listen to it. So he did and he was umm I'm pretty such we didn't almost break up last night, you didn't throw your phone at me, and I didn't come in wearing a football helmet. I tell him to be quite and just listen, and it's not about us, I just like it. Which is mostly true....there are few parts however that remind me of him and that's why I like it :)

Before you I only dated self indulgent takers who took all of their problems out on me
But you carry my groceries and now i'm always laughing
And I love you because you have given me no choice but to

Stay stay stay I've been loving you for quite some time time timeYou think that it's funny when i'm mad mad madBut I think that it's best if we both stay

That verse and the chorus just make me smile non stop when I hear them because they make me think of him, and how great he is. He's my prince charming. 

P.S. 100TH POST! :)

And life goes on.

No one really likes change, well I guess there are some people. I'm not one of them. I hate change. But sadly it's just a part of life. Pretty big change just happened in my life. My best friend just replaced me. I'm bitter about it but we didn't have the best relationship any, she changed too much. Maybe I did too. Anyway I guess she decided it wasn't going to work anymore. So now two girls that once talked about being best friends forever and being in each other's wedding and our kids growing up together and how fun that would be; girls who went through breaks ups, deaths, disappointments, birthdays, and joys together now don't even say hi when we pass each other in the hall way. A friendship is left in the dirt, and life goes on.

Super Weekend!

So this weekend is going to be amazing! (Which is nice since I'm going to die next week between all my midterms and test that I have to make up). So my amazing weekend starts off with me going to Miss. Jenna's house (who is a mutual friend of Josh and I, and lives down the street from him). I'll be there from around 3:30ish till like 9. I haven't seen Jenna in forever so its's gonna be awesome :) Then around 9 my friend Lucy's mom will pick me up from Jenna's and take me to their house (Lucy also lives close to Josh, and he knows her). Lucy and I are then going to have an amazing sleepover because whenever Lucy and I get together it's like a freakin party! Then I'll hopefully spend a good part of the day with Josh on Saturday. I will see Josh Saturday I just don't know for how much of the day I'll be with him. Then I'll have amazing sleepover with Lucy round two! Then church (Lucy and I are in the same ward for all you other Mormons which means we go to the same church for all you non-Mormons) which is always good. Then later that night Lucy and I are going to a church party (which I know doesn't sound fun but it is, and there's going to be amazing food), and then I go home. It's going to be totally wicked! (yes I did just say that :)  I can't wait!

Enchanted.

So I have this playlist on my itunes account entitled Love. It currently has all the songs that make me think of Josh. Well I had this play list before him, it just had songs that where about love and happy type songs, stuff like that. Well after I broke up with my last boyfriend I kinda cleared it because I didn't want to listen to those kind of songs, but for whatever reason I didn't get rid of two of the songs. One of them was Enchanted by Taylor Swift. So when I started putting songs back on that playlist, I just kept it there, even though whenever it came on I just skipped it. Well eventually I actually let play and while I have listened to the song obviously before I soon realized that that song actually kinda describes me and Josh a little and when we first met. Just a tiny bit, but enough for me to think: Well hey, that's ironic.

Why. Just why.

I love having mental break downs about how I don't have a social life because I don't have any plans for tonight. All my friends that would hang out with me live to far away for a school night. All my friends around where I live already have plans and no one invited me. Jenna (who I thought was my best friend not so sure anymore) knows this and is just like sucks to suck, and is ditching me to go to our other friends house, when we've hung out together on Halloween the past two years. All this is just freaking magnified because I'm pmsing again because my stupid period can't decide when to come, and just ends up putting me through hell for half the month. OH and I have a butt load of school work because I missed almost the whole week last week after my surgery, and midterms are next week. FML.

The Truth Comes Out.

Jenna and I, I thought were always great friends. Sure, we have our stupid little fights that happen like every good friendship, and we don't always get along. But I thought that we were good. We talked about being friends for life and being in each other's weddings and all that stuff. Turns out not quite as good of friends as I thought. Found out that she broke up with her boyfriend and didn't even say anything to me. Nothing. Won't even tell me know. I had to ask about it. Still won't tell me. Won't even talk to me. I've had people that I would say I'm not quite as close with text and/or call me and be like Kate...I think I'm gonna break up with my boyfriend.... Or my other best friend called me as soon as her and her boyfriend broke up. Like within minutes. But from Jenna. Nothing. I guess I can truly see now how she views our relationship.

The Magic of Possible Memories

Have you ever had those moments where you are watching a movie or listening to a song, and they are just having one of those picture perfect moments. If it's movie then it's the point in the movie when the music is playing, no one is talking, and everything's perfect, and you think how fun and great it would be to have those moments happen to you? It happens it me all the time! I sit there and imagine what it would be like and the possibility of it happening is so exciting. I sit there and smile and my mom if she's there she laughs at me. Call me crazy but I like sitting there and watching the possibility of those memories unfold in front of me.

A different kind of connection.

Just because we don't grind, or don't make out (yet), or do any of those sorts doesn't mean we don't have a good relationship. My friend asked me what's the point of Josh and I even dating if we don't do those kind of things, isn't it just like having him as a bestfriend then? Yeah he is my best friend, but he is more than that. Much more than that. The type of connection we have is more than a physical one. And we do still have a physical one (that's an important part of any relationship) but that's not the only way we show each other that we care. He makes me so unbelievable happy with words and little actions or gestures. I've never been this happy before in a relationship, and yet we've only kissed. I would say I am happier than a most of my friends, even those who have a relationship. Josh and I have a different kind of connection, one that when we get to the physical stuff, it will be so much better ;)

Every girls dream.

Almost every girl has that list of things she wants to do with a guy, and I am no exception. In fact mine is pretty long :)

Kissed in the pouring rain
Have a bonfire just me and him
Star gazing in the middle of a big open field
Walk on the beach at sunset
Take a walk in the woods in the middle of fall
Go sledding
Watch the clouds in a big open field
Be kissed on New Years 
Playing in leaves
Have a snowball fight
Go on a road trip, anywhere
Be kissed under mistletoe on Christmas Eve/Christmas day
Go tubing on a river
Kissed in the snow
Have a water balloon fight
Dance in the rain
Go on a bike ride
Wash a car
Take a walk while its snowing just me and him
Watch a chick flick on a rainy day together

Pretty awesome list if you ask me, and I'm only 16 so I got a while to do it all :)

You set the bar so high.

I finally have someone who will listen. Someone who will be there for me when I need them, and will always take my side. Will make me feel better in seconds, if I just let them know. But I can't. They are so strong, how could I possible show them how weak I am. They never cry, how can I tell them I'm crying over something that shouldn't matter. Something thats old news or trivial. I already have a hard time showing people I'm hurt so how can I possibly do that when they set the bar so high. I've never had someone so strong in my life.

A Randy moment...

Randy: "When my phone loses signal, I go all Lion King on it."

Red.

I've been listening to some of the new songs Taylor Swift has released, one of them being the song Red. At first I was just listening to it. Then I started to listen to the lyrics, and it made me sad because it reminded me of the pain of losing a guy when you love him. Then after listening to it for a while I realized it defined one of my past relationships.
Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street
Faster than the wind
Passionate as sin, ended so suddenly
Like the colors in autumn
So bright just before they lose it all
Losing him was blue like I’d never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met
But loving him was red
Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer
Loving him was red
Burning red
Of course the end of the song doesn't apply to me at all. I got over him a long time ago, and we are just friends now. That "burning red" has now turned into a fant glow far back in my memory. I just thought that song was a good way to describe my first love. Red.

Behind the Glass.

I am not one of those people who holds their emotions in. I'm not strong enough for that. I'm not one of those people who doesn't cry. I cry. But I don't let people see my emotions when they come out. I don't let people see me cry. I let people see only what they want to see. I hide behind this wall because in my mind being sad or upset is a weakness. I hide behide the perfect surface of the glass and hope no one can see beyond the image in the mirror.

It all depends on how you look at it.

A lot of people look at life as something with good times and bad times, and they think that life sucks when they are having bad times. They think life is suppose to be a happy fairytale, like in the movies. I mean think about it. Thats how movies betray life. Its suppose to be happy. But.... Someone once told me thats not life. Life is suppose to be hard, its suppose to really just suck sometimes. Its suppose to be riddled with trails. They are what helps us grow. Those moments, when you thought life could just not go on. Those are the moments that have made us who we are. I wouldn't trade any single painful  memory. Sure who wants to have that, it sucks. But I don't know who I would be without just one of them, and I honestly don't want to find out. And those sometimes rare happy moments, each one is a gift. This look on life might seem pessimistic. But I dont know about you but I rather look at life as the normality with good moments then the normality with bad ones.

Innocent love

A quote from my man!

Cash (my nephew) said to Heidi (my niece) "I am BIG! I am a cyclops with two eyes!"

Fearless.

I have tried to relate the song Fearless by Taylor Swift to a lot of guys, but it never quite fit. But it fits perfectly for Josh :) I would dance in a storm in my best dress with him and not have a care in the world. Our first kiss. . . . flawless, really something, for the first time it was actually fearless. I don't know how it gets better than this. He make's me fearless :)

I like to be originally...

So with alllll the health problems going on in my family, I like to be originally and pick my own thing. I found out on Friday that I need to get surgery on my right ear, because my ear drum is punctured. The hole is in a spot where it is affecting my hearing; it's been there for a while so I haven't really noticed. This will be my third surgery on my right ear. When I was little I had two sets of tubes (they think that's what caused the hole). It's going to be an hour surgery. They are going to take a piece of tissue from another place on my right ear and then cut my ear drum open and place it in (in simple terms haha). I'll stay home from school the day following the surgery. The thing I'm most excited for is the fact that after this I will be able to swim without having my ear hurting :)

So. . .?

I was talking to a friend of mine, and they were asking me about my sisters, and how they are doing. I said they are doing good everything considered. Then they specifically asked about Beth. I said I don't really talk to her. They were like "aww :( " and I replied: "It's whatever. There's no point having a relationship with her because I'm only going to get hurt." They response. . . but she's your sister. . . .
So? If she's my sister then why would she have put our family through everything she did? It was her choice. When she wants to change I'll be right here for her, but till then I'm not bothering. Insanity has been described as doing something over again and expecting different results. That's what I would be doing if I tried to have a normal relationship with Beth. I know that because of where she is in her life, if I try to have a normal relationship with her that I'm just going to get hurt. So why keep trying when she clearly doesn't care about our relationship right now?

I'm gonna grow up to be a praying mantis!

So we were at dinner as a family. It was my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and the kids (Heidi and Cash). Cash says to me, Kate when you grow up and getting married you gonna do the praying mantis! We all are just like ummm. . . and then start laughing. Watch out future husband. . . . ;)

I miss "her"...

So the other day I was talking to Josh and I told him that I miss my sister, Beth. He said aww, I miss my sisters too. Not exactly what I meant, but I didn't feel like trying to explain it to him right then. Afraid that in the process even more emotions would come to the surface and I would start to cry. So today then I was talking to him and was telling him that I didn't want Beth to come over tonight because I don't wanna see her. I think he was a little confused. So Josh here is your answer, I promise no crying :) So I obviously don't mean I miss Beth like a normally person misses their family or close friends. I mean I miss the real her. I've also mentioned before that Beth has problem with drugs. By the real her I mean one who is completely clean and acts pretty much like a normal person. Of course not only the drugs have affected her. Her boyfriend Matt as well has changed her, and now keeping her from going back to the normal Beth (That's why I don't like him). It's been about three years since she's been completely clean and herself. Three years is a long time to not see someone, but it seems even longer when you that person is right but really isn't. There's a quote that says: "I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we really don't even have. Some of us say we'd rather have something than nothing at all, but the truth is to have something halfway is harder than not having it at all." I realized a while ago that I was holding on to the idea of having a sister, but I really only had her halfway, and I realized that I needed to let go because in the end it was just hurting me. So right now I only really have one sister, but I do miss my Bethy. I know one day I'll have her back, but right now all I can do is miss "her".

The Whys

People often say it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. At different points in my life, I have felt differently about this saying. I know I have felt this to not be true at times. In those moments when your heart is splitting in two, you would never agree with that saying. I have finally realized though, that this saying is infact extremely true. I look back on all my past relationship with guys, and why none of them ended up working out (obviously) I would not take any of them back if I could. Each and everyone of them has taught me something. Whether that was learning, I need a certain quality in a guy or learning something about myself. Sometimes that lesson ended up being quite painful but a good lesson none the less. Unfortunely sometimes I needed to be taught somethings twice. I think once you realize this, looking back on your past becomes easier, and who wouldn't want that?

A Randy moment....

Me: "Randy are you feeling any better?"
Randy: "Yeah I'm feeling a lot better!"
Me: "Good! I was sad you weren't there last night"
Randy: "Yeah I was on the couch dying, watching Mean Girls!"
Only Randy would decide by himself to watch Mean Girls. . . .

Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment of the day when your at lunch, and the people at your lunch table decided to start a very intension debate about religion and you just sit there like nope not getting involved. . . and then they stop and stare at you and ask "what do you think, your mormon. Then they start chanting mormon mormon mormon very loudly. . . so then I had to join in what they were talking about. . . .

I hate being a girl sometimes and salami.

It just really sucks being a girl sometimes, about one week out of every month to be exact. Some girls it really isn't that big of a deal, except it's just a little bit annoying. Not me. I always have some extreme with mine. Either I'm cramping so badly I don't even wanna move, or I get super duper emotional, or something else. . . .that I'm not gonna mention...Guess what this month's extreme is. . . .emotional. Today was a good day until I woke up from a nap around 6. I wake up like 10 minutes before I have to leave, my mom forgot to make dinner and there's nothing to grab so no dinner for me till I get home around 9. So I go to my church activity which was bad because I need to play this one song on the piano but I kept messing up and I just could not get it. Then on the way home from church my friend Jenna decides to be a brat and brag about how she gets to see this kid she likes everyday and how he took her to wawa and all this stuff, when she knows I'm already in a bad mood and also I'm lucky if I get to see Josh once a week. Then my mom decides to be nice and stop by wawa and get me a sandwich. Well first off they didn't have the type of bread I like, but I'm just like whatever get the sandwich anyway. Get home smells so good, can't wait to eat it! I open it up looks so good! and then. . . I realize. . . .its not turkey. . .its salami. . . .. (I don't like salami) at this point everything has just been building and I'm super emotional so I just lose it and start crying. . . .what are the chances. . . . ? Stupid salami.

A Randy moment....

Randy: So I've been watching a lot of criminal shows lately and I've been thinking, if a robber ever breaks in, I'm just gonna pretend that I'm a robber too. And we'll both laugh, have fun, give each other hugs, but he'll leave cause I have first dibs.

Family...

Family is such an important thing, whether people think so or not. They are the people you depend on. The ones that have so much of an impact on your life, whether good or not. Whether they leave scares or help heal them. In the end family is the reason we are who we are. Sure friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, or just other people affect us as well, but in the end it all comes right back to family. Whether you have the perfect little family or barely a family at all.

Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment when you tell your math teacher you're not going to be there tomorrow because you have a doctors appointment. So you go in during study hall so she can go over the notes with you. Only to find out like five minutes later that my mom changed my appointment to next week so I wouldn't have to miss that class. . .thanks mom. . .

Totally undervalued in todays world.

You know what's totally undervalued. . .? Letters. Come on. Admit it you feel better dang awesome when you get something in the mail (if your not an adult). But no one writes letters anymore! Letters are awesome though! You get that awesome feeling of getting something in the mail and whatever the person wrote you, won't have get deleted or anything like that. Plus they are so much more personal. That person actually took the time to sit down and read it. I've just come to realization that letters are just the best, and while they may take a lot longer then a text, it's definitely worth more in the end.

I'm normal...?!

So I was visitng my grandma recently and it was her, my mom, my friend Miquelle, and myself in the room. My mom and grandma were talking about how they recently discovered that the age of the father can effect the babies chance of being autistic. Then my grandma brought up how my parents were older when they had me, and then says "and Kate's normal". My mom: "Kate's normal?" Miquelle: "Kate's normal?!" Me: "I'm normal..?!" Not quite sure where she got that from.

Nooooooo....

School starts in four days and its not that I'm dreading going back, I'm okay with school. I mean don't get me wrong summer is a thousand times better, but the only reason I don't want it to start again so soon is because I still have to get my summer work done. It's horrible. I still have four pages of math packet to do, which is slow going since I have forgotten everything. I also have 9 short answer questions to answer about a book I read. Which wouldn't be a problem but the questions are just stupid. Since you could pick which book out of two to read, the questions have to be general and I looked at them and for the most part don't really make sense or would be hard to answer with the book I read. Well I guess I just have to push through and get it done....

Self control...over rated

Sometimes I hate having to have self control. My sister is over for dinner, which I can hardly tolerate her. But. It's not only her but her moron of a boyfriend is over too. I'm currently listening to them talk to my grandma (who is gullible) and I just wanna go over and kick him in the nuts. That's how much he annoys me. I can't really explain why or how, but he is just so stupid! Maybe he just annoys me so much because I have a very strong dislike for the guy, but yet I don't think thats it. Sure maybe it increases it, but I think the guy is still a complete moron. Then again so is my sister. Yet I sit here and be nice and polite. Self control is so over rated... HELP ME!

IM SORRY!

So I'm at the beach and I have horrible connection and thats why I haven't posted anything lately. So I promise when I get back from the beach I'll post more.

life's little plessures :)

So I dont often wear sunglasses, because honestly half of the time I have no idea where they are, but when I do wear them everything just seems cooler! I have just come to the conclusion that life is better watching it happen through sunglasses :)

Something about you...

I don't know how you do what you do
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
Makes sense when I'm with you

Best. Day. Ever.

So I went on a date with Josh on monday and it was utterly and completely AMAZING! It was a double date with his twin brother who happens to be dating one of my best friends, Liz (just saying they are so freakin cute together). It was at her house and we went on a picnic in her yard under this cute little tree. Josh decided to climb the tree, and then he pulled me up so I could be with him. He kissed me in the tree. We took the boys on a scavenger hunt, during which me and him were standing on some pavement without shoes on. The pavement was really hot, so Josh just picks me up and carries me over to the grass. Isn't he adorable?! So after that Josh and I went and chilled in her tree house. We just sat up there and talked. And kissed a little too :) We all went swimming after that in her pool. I got completely wet and then chased Josh around trying to hug him. Eventually I got him. We both got in the pool then and he carried me around the pool and kissed me. He at one point picked me up and threw me off the diving board and then jumped in after me, going right over my head. We had a lot of fun just being silly and playing around with each other. I was so sad when they had to leave, but it was an awesome day. oh and he gave me one of his shirts. Its huge on me, and I love it! After the boys left, Liz and I went and got ice cream from this cute little place near her house. A pretty good ending to an almost perfect day :)

Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment when I'm skyping with Josh and I accidently call my ex boyfriend and leave him a 5 minute voicemail.... So him and I are skyping when I look down at my phone to see a miss call from my ex. I text him and asked why he just called me, and then thats when he told me that I had accidently called him and left him a 5 minutes voicemail of Josh and I skyping.... why do these awkward situations always happen to me?!

oh hey...

So I realized that most you don't know anything about me except for bits and pieces of my love life and random and sometimes awkward moments from the rest of my wonderful life. This is because most of you don't know me. Most of you are complete strangers to me. Honestly though I like it that way, because then I can write whatever I want and not worry about what people think. So here we go a little bit about me and my life. So I am a teenage girl from boring Pennsylvania. I am Mormon or LDS if you will. I love the church. It is great. I am the third and last child of my family. Also the only one at home still. I have two older sisters 25 and 30. One has trouble with drugs and is still trying to get on her feet, and is currenting living in the basement of her boyfriend's parent's house. The other one is happily married which three freakin adorable kids, who I have mentioned before. She unfortunitly has a lot of medical problems, if I listed them I'm sure most of you wouldn't know what half of them are, but she's okay. Anyway so yeah it's just me and my parents at home now. I don't play any sports (boring I know). I play piano a little bit, and besides that don't really have any hobbies. I have a cat named Missy, she's pretty cute. I had a cat named Sabrina who was my baby, but she passed away. There are a few earlier posts about her. I also have Josh, and he's really cute :) Yep so that's my lovely life in a nutshell.

New and I like it :)

So normal I don't like new things. I mean like most people, I don't like change, but I was thinking that it was time for a change. On my blog because that's about all I can handle :) So I hope everyone likes it!

Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment when you are sitting in the doctors office and all the sudden your flipflop breaks...in the middle of the doctors office. So I have to walk back to the room with one shoe...and then out of the doctors office....and to the car... Its time for some new shoes :)

It's fun being Mormon :)

So today I went on a really funny date! And because I'm Mormon I just went on a double date with my three really good friends. So we went and got Rita's and that was yummy :) Then we went and hung out at the mall (because we couldn't do our previse plan) and so we are just walking around going in different stores and having fun. Then suddenly we see a kids Gap and my friend makes a joke that I could still fit in their clothes, long story short. I can. Then we found a photo booth and all four of us piled in. It was crazy and funny (fyi photo booths are my new love :) and of course whenever we were in the car we blasted the music and sang along. Overall great day! Butttt I can't wait to go on another date with Josh :)

Sooo he's kinda like super adorable :)

Soooo the guy whos my age that I just posted about, his name is Josh. He is amazing. I love his smile and his laugh, not to mention his like really hot :) He is such a gentlemen, and the sweetest boy you will ever meet. He has a great sense of humor, and he loves my height, which is kinda a big deal to me :) He also like a lot things about me that I dont like about me, and he tells me I'm beautiful all the time! and I mean come on how much better can you get!? Overall he is the guy I've been looking for for awhile. :)

Chick Flick Worthy!

Sooooo you guys remember my guy thats my age that I talked about early? Well we have a thing now and it's kind of awesome :) Anyway so the other day he was over my house and we kissed for the first time! And it was freakin adorable! It. Was. Chick Flick Worthy! So heres what happened :) Me and him were sitting on the swings just talking and I told him something about how whenever guys have a choice between two girl and I'm one of them, they pick the other girl. So he sat there for a second and thought about that and then he looks at me and says "well I choose you" and he leaned in and kissed me :) and it was perfect!

Oh it is good being a girl!

So sure there are some not so great things about being a girl. I'm sure I don't need to list them for you, but there are definitely perks to being a girl as well. Most of them guys just would not understand... Last night for  example my dad wasn't home so my mom and I decided to watch a chick flick. We watched the movie chocolat (yes I spelled it right). It was AMAZING! If you haven't seen it then I highly recommend you watch it, but just a fair warning you will want chocolate afterwards. Anyways, great movie! Afterwards I just so happy and I don't even know, I just felt great! So then my very loving mom took me to the story at like 11 at night just to get chocolate :) That right there...definitely a girl thing. Oh and so then today I went shopping! No more explanation needed. A. Girl. Thing. No question about it. Guys simple just do not understand the joys of shopping! And then on top of that I got a bunch of skirts and dresses (well actually only one dress). I don't know about most girls out there but I just LOVE wearing dresses and skirts! Anyways, my conclusion is sometimes its just awesome being a girl :)

oops....

So I totally forgot abouy my blog....but from now on every day that I can I will post something, but I'm warning you that I have a lot going on this summer. I will try my hardest though. So I dated that 18 year old and then broke up with him. We have a friends with benefits thing going on, except we never see each, so it makes it kind of hard to have benefits. But we also have a "thing" going on so basically everything we had before just not the title of dating. AND then I have this really sweet boy who is my age who really likes me and I really like him too. In a week I'll be spending three days with the boy whos my age. Along with a 6 hour bus ride sitting next to him there and back. Also I'm not allowed to take my phone on this little trip so no talking to my 18 year old. We will see how this goes....

It really isn't that big of deal...

So the guy I like right now is 18 turning 19, and a good amount of my friends and my sister say he is too old for me, but really there is only like a two year age difference between us. I don't think there is anything wrong with, its two years it wouldn't be that big of deal if we were like 21 and 23. I mean on top of that its not like we are going to be doing anything so that fact that he is 18 doesn't even really affect anything. I don't mind hearing peoples opinions I just wish they wouldn't try and force them on me.

I finally broke...

I did it...I'm not proud of it but its done. Are you ready to hear what I did... I made a twitter. AHHHHHHHHH! oh well :) haha

I AM DONE WITH BOYS!

After the past two months of dealing with lovely boy crap, and watching everything fall apart in the end; I am done. So done. I'm tired of getting ignored, getting used, and getting hurt. So I am done. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not done with them forever. Once I turn 16 I'll go on dates with guys, if any actually ask me, but besides that I'm done with them till college. End of story.

I'm my own worst enemy...

I always seem to screw myself over. It's actaully quite annoying. Things will be going great, and then I have to go and open my big mouth and it never ends well for me. I don't know why I keep doing it too! This is the second time it has happened with 'my friend' Jake...and well now whenever I try to say something cute or flirty he stops responding, and it's really annoying. I mean all I wanna do is talk to him, but he doesn't seem to feel the same, and you know why that is..because I had to go and open my big mouth! and now he is upset with me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

A way to a man's heart is through his stomach...

I got out a chocolate pudding and was eating it, my nephew who is one comes over and stares at me and smiles at me like you know you wanna share! And of course being the amazing aunt I am I do share it with him. After I start feeding him the pudding he starts blowing me kisses in between bites and smile so big, and then he goes and gets one of his toys and gives it to me. The saying is true even for toddlers... :)

I love this song!

For me this song isn't about anyone right now,  but I still love it :)

Elevator buttons and morning air
Strangers' silence makes me want to take the stairs
If you were here we'd laugh about their vacant stares
But right now my time is theirs

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
They'll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury's out, my choice is you

So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours

You never know what people have up their sleeves
Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me
Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles
But I don't care 'cause right now you're mine

And you'll say
Don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours

And it's not theirs to speculate
If it's wrong and
Your hands are tough
But they are where mine belong and
I'll fight their doubt and give you faith
With this song for you

'Cause I love the gap between your teeth
And I love the riddles that you speak
And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored
'Cause my heart is yours

So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
Don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
But they can't take what's ours
They can't take what's ours

The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours

Makes me happy :)

A Randy moment...

This isn't really a Randy moment, but it has to do with Randy so I'm calling it a Randy moment.

So I always knew Randy was a positive guy, and now I found proof! :)

One of the best things I have ever heard :)

This was my friends status on facebook:

" WOAHHH I'm like extremely curious if there is even a guy out there that can treat me like a girl should be treated and can except that I love footie pajamas ♥ "

very well put :)

I cant wait!

I can't wait to be in love again! I can't wait to have that feeling again. To have someone that cares about me like that again. Though I'm hoping when I do fall in love again its with the guy that's the one :)

A bad combination...

If you combine night time and the week before my period you get a very scary thing. For example I went shopping to get eye liner. I got a couple other things as well, but the main important thing was the eye liner. I get home, I'm still in the car and I go to get the eye liner out of the bag and it's not there...the stupid guy didn't put it in the bag. Needless to say that coupled with the deadly combination mentioned before and you get me who is now really pissed and really upset. I was so upset I wanted to cry...like what the heck is going on! Someone should not get upset at all over eye liner let alone like so upset that your about to cry over it! Horrible horrible combination.