I'm gonna grow up to be a praying mantis!

So we were at dinner as a family. It was my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and the kids (Heidi and Cash). Cash says to me, Kate when you grow up and getting married you gonna do the praying mantis! We all are just like ummm. . . and then start laughing. Watch out future husband. . . . ;)

I miss "her"...

So the other day I was talking to Josh and I told him that I miss my sister, Beth. He said aww, I miss my sisters too. Not exactly what I meant, but I didn't feel like trying to explain it to him right then. Afraid that in the process even more emotions would come to the surface and I would start to cry. So today then I was talking to him and was telling him that I didn't want Beth to come over tonight because I don't wanna see her. I think he was a little confused. So Josh here is your answer, I promise no crying :) So I obviously don't mean I miss Beth like a normally person misses their family or close friends. I mean I miss the real her. I've also mentioned before that Beth has problem with drugs. By the real her I mean one who is completely clean and acts pretty much like a normal person. Of course not only the drugs have affected her. Her boyfriend Matt as well has changed her, and now keeping her from going back to the normal Beth (That's why I don't like him). It's been about three years since she's been completely clean and herself. Three years is a long time to not see someone, but it seems even longer when you that person is right but really isn't. There's a quote that says: "I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we really don't even have. Some of us say we'd rather have something than nothing at all, but the truth is to have something halfway is harder than not having it at all." I realized a while ago that I was holding on to the idea of having a sister, but I really only had her halfway, and I realized that I needed to let go because in the end it was just hurting me. So right now I only really have one sister, but I do miss my Bethy. I know one day I'll have her back, but right now all I can do is miss "her".

The Whys

People often say it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. At different points in my life, I have felt differently about this saying. I know I have felt this to not be true at times. In those moments when your heart is splitting in two, you would never agree with that saying. I have finally realized though, that this saying is infact extremely true. I look back on all my past relationship with guys, and why none of them ended up working out (obviously) I would not take any of them back if I could. Each and everyone of them has taught me something. Whether that was learning, I need a certain quality in a guy or learning something about myself. Sometimes that lesson ended up being quite painful but a good lesson none the less. Unfortunely sometimes I needed to be taught somethings twice. I think once you realize this, looking back on your past becomes easier, and who wouldn't want that?

A Randy moment....

Me: "Randy are you feeling any better?"
Randy: "Yeah I'm feeling a lot better!"
Me: "Good! I was sad you weren't there last night"
Randy: "Yeah I was on the couch dying, watching Mean Girls!"
Only Randy would decide by himself to watch Mean Girls. . . .

Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment of the day when your at lunch, and the people at your lunch table decided to start a very intension debate about religion and you just sit there like nope not getting involved. . . and then they stop and stare at you and ask "what do you think, your mormon. Then they start chanting mormon mormon mormon very loudly. . . so then I had to join in what they were talking about. . . .

I hate being a girl sometimes and salami.

It just really sucks being a girl sometimes, about one week out of every month to be exact. Some girls it really isn't that big of a deal, except it's just a little bit annoying. Not me. I always have some extreme with mine. Either I'm cramping so badly I don't even wanna move, or I get super duper emotional, or something else. . . .that I'm not gonna mention...Guess what this month's extreme is. . . .emotional. Today was a good day until I woke up from a nap around 6. I wake up like 10 minutes before I have to leave, my mom forgot to make dinner and there's nothing to grab so no dinner for me till I get home around 9. So I go to my church activity which was bad because I need to play this one song on the piano but I kept messing up and I just could not get it. Then on the way home from church my friend Jenna decides to be a brat and brag about how she gets to see this kid she likes everyday and how he took her to wawa and all this stuff, when she knows I'm already in a bad mood and also I'm lucky if I get to see Josh once a week. Then my mom decides to be nice and stop by wawa and get me a sandwich. Well first off they didn't have the type of bread I like, but I'm just like whatever get the sandwich anyway. Get home smells so good, can't wait to eat it! I open it up looks so good! and then. . . I realize. . . .its not turkey. . .its salami. . . .. (I don't like salami) at this point everything has just been building and I'm super emotional so I just lose it and start crying. . . .what are the chances. . . . ? Stupid salami.

A Randy moment....

Randy: So I've been watching a lot of criminal shows lately and I've been thinking, if a robber ever breaks in, I'm just gonna pretend that I'm a robber too. And we'll both laugh, have fun, give each other hugs, but he'll leave cause I have first dibs.

Family...

Family is such an important thing, whether people think so or not. They are the people you depend on. The ones that have so much of an impact on your life, whether good or not. Whether they leave scares or help heal them. In the end family is the reason we are who we are. Sure friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, or just other people affect us as well, but in the end it all comes right back to family. Whether you have the perfect little family or barely a family at all.

Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment when you tell your math teacher you're not going to be there tomorrow because you have a doctors appointment. So you go in during study hall so she can go over the notes with you. Only to find out like five minutes later that my mom changed my appointment to next week so I wouldn't have to miss that class. . .thanks mom. . .

Totally undervalued in todays world.

You know what's totally undervalued. . .? Letters. Come on. Admit it you feel better dang awesome when you get something in the mail (if your not an adult). But no one writes letters anymore! Letters are awesome though! You get that awesome feeling of getting something in the mail and whatever the person wrote you, won't have get deleted or anything like that. Plus they are so much more personal. That person actually took the time to sit down and read it. I've just come to realization that letters are just the best, and while they may take a lot longer then a text, it's definitely worth more in the end.

I'm normal...?!

So I was visitng my grandma recently and it was her, my mom, my friend Miquelle, and myself in the room. My mom and grandma were talking about how they recently discovered that the age of the father can effect the babies chance of being autistic. Then my grandma brought up how my parents were older when they had me, and then says "and Kate's normal". My mom: "Kate's normal?" Miquelle: "Kate's normal?!" Me: "I'm normal..?!" Not quite sure where she got that from.