Senior Year was suppose to be easy.

Everyone always says senior year is the chill year. Its the easy year. Ummm, no. Not for me. This first semester I have English Honors, AP Calc, and Physics Honors. English just adds to my work load but besides that it's super easy. Physics would be fine too, if it wasn't for the teacher. She purposely makes the class extremely hard. She tries to make the class harder than AP Calc, so that it will be the second hardest class in the school, behind AP Physics. I think that the concepts and the thoughts processes for my physics class is a lot easy than for AP Calc. She just makes it harder than it should be, which I just think is unfair. Anyway, between these two classes AP Calc and Physics, and the extra work load added on by English this year is starting off to be soooooo stressful. Awful just awful

Awkward moment of the day!

Randy told me one day that with his new calling he helps with tithing. So today as I was filling out my tithing slip and I decided I wanted to give Randy a little surprise. In the envelope along with my money and tithing slip I put a sticky note that said "Hi Randy". I thought I was quite funny, and even funnier when Randy texted me telling me he got my note, but then he told he wasn't the one who had opened the slip.... Turns out much to my dismay that Randy just types the tithing stuff into the computer. Our 1st counselor in the the bishopric had opened it. In fact Randy hadn't even been in the room when he opened it. When Randy did come in the room he handed him the note and said "Looks like you have a fan club"....

I literally can't stand it.

One of my biggest biggest pet peeves or something I just cannot stand is when guys just don't make time for me. It's like you say I'm your whole world and then you can't even make time to talk to me? Okay that's cool too. Maybe it just bugs me so much because I always do all I can to make time for them. Maybe I should stop trying so hard on that one, and when we both happen to get a chance that's when we'll talk. I don't know, it's just something that really gets under my skin.

Awkward moment of the day!

That awkward moment of the day when my older sister and I are wearing the same sweater (just different colors) and you can tell that my boobs are a lot bigger then hers.... Haha

A haunting past.

Even though I try to put my past behind me, because that's always what people tell you to do, some things just come up. Like trust. I've had a lot of problems with trusting and people in the past. I've had a lot of people taking advantage of my trust, and then me getting hurt in the end. Also I've had important people in my life "replace me" so to say. So I have a giant fear of being replaced. So I have a hard time trusting people and a fear of being replaced. Great. Combine that with the extra crazy emotions of being on my period. Also mix in a past experience where a guy I was texting, texted me something that didn't really make sense to what I had said; and it turned out he meant to text it to another girl he had a thing with. Mix that all together and then I get a text from Josh that doesn't make sense with what I had said. Even though I trust him soooo much and I know how much he cares about me, and he would never want to hurt me in anyway. I can't help but freak out a little, with my haunting past full of pain and broken hearts looming right behind me. And it's not that I don't trust him, I don't trust myself. I don't trust myself to be better than my past.

Honesty.

I feel like in today's society honesty is one of those values very much under minded; least with my generation. It seems like almost everyone lies. I mean I try, I mean really try to be honest. It's something that's really important to me, but I still find myself telling a little white lie every now and then to get out of trouble or something. There's so much drama going on in my friend group right now and it could have all been avoided if people had just told the truth. In fact a lot of drama I'd have to say it started because someone lied. Why couldn't people just tell the truth? Doesn't it  seem like that would just make our lifes easier? Sure we may get in trouble sometimes but if you are having to lie then you probably did something wrong, so you probably deserve to get in trouble. I know I need to work on this myself. So starting today till Christmas I'm going to not tell a single lie. I can do. You guys should try it out and see how it goes. I mean over all wouldn't you like to be  known as an honest person? I know I would.

He's Quiet Perfect.